Draw Your Own Conclusions
by TheCabinet
Summary: Seventeen year old female. Curvy, slanted, charming, seeks witty, meaningful, handsome penmanship. Looking for an anonymous quill in possession of a good sense of humour with which to exchange letters over the summer. If interested, please respond via owl.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: We appologise for the confusing formatting of this chapter. Due to the limited formatting options on ff. net we have had to make some changes. Where a letter has both Bold and Italic formatting, whatever is in italics has been crossed out (strike through), and the bold is the part that has been 'kept'. We know this could be confusing, and if it is please find a link on our profile to another site that allows for strike-through.

This story is inspired by the movie 'The Shop Around the Corner'. If you haven't seen it, we definitely recommend it. Draw Your Own Conclusions is a work in progress and while we will attempt to upload new chapters as quickly as possible we can't promise anything expect that we've planned this to the end and will not be abandoning it! :)

Hope you enjoy! And please review to let us know what you think.

Disclaimer: Everything you recognise belongs either to J. K. Rowling or the makers of 'The Shop Around the Corner'.

* * *

**Chapter One**

Personal ad, DailyProphet, July 3rd, 1977

Seventeen year old female. Curvy, slanted, charming, seeks witty, meaningful, handsome penmanship. Looking for an anonymous quill in possession of a good sense of humour with which to exchange letters over the summer. If interested, please respond via owl.

-A friend.

* * *

July 11th

**Dear **_Curvy, slanted and charming,_

_Witty, meaningful and, l__ast but definitely most, handsome reporting for duty._

* * *

July 12th

**Dear friend,**

_Your knight in handsome penmanship has arrived. My valiant stead, Mr Matuschek, _

_I don't normally_

* * *

James stood from his chair after finally deciding on his polished letter. With one sweep of his arm he pushed the scribbled on and scrunched up pieces of paper, the casualties of his war with words, into the already nearly full bin by his desk. A few of them fell onto the carpet but he ignored them as he walked swiftly out of the room. Mr Matuschek hooted excitedly upon seeing the letter in James' hand. James read the newspaper ad over one more time, making sure he had fully understood the original piece before he sent a reply. He turned the letter over in his hands a few times, hesitated a few moments and then took a deep breath.

James tied the letter to Mr Matuschek's leg and opened his mouth to tell him the address. He suddenly realised that he had no idea where to send the letter or who to send it to. He flipped the paper over frantically looking for an address or a name or some sort of instruction. Nothing. Not ever a hint or an obscure clue. He read the paper backwards, upside down and performed a revealing spell on it but nothing jumped out at him. Mr Matuschek hooted again, impatient this time.

"Erm. Can you- Do you know- I don't know where this is going." Mr Matuschek stared blankly at James.

James put the paper in front of the owl's face and pointed at the ad, looking at him expectantly. Mr Matuschek looked back at James and tilted his head to the side. James offered Mr Matuschek a treat.

"Pretty please?" James pleaded with the owl, his expression close to desperate.

The owl took the treat from his hand and rolled his eyes before flying away. James sighed and flopped onto his bed heavily, still not sure if he had made the right choice.

* * *

August 14th

Dear friend,

I hope this finds you well. How has your summer been so far?

- A friend

* * *

August 16th

Dear Friend,

I was beginning to think I would never get a reply to my ad, so I can't tell you how happy I was to receive your letter.

I'm very well, thank you. And my summer has been great. It's drawing to a close though, and this time of year is always a bit sad. I'm excited to be going back to school, but I always miss my family – even my bat crazy sister.

How are you, friend? Has summer treated you well?

-A friend

* * *

August 17th

**Dear Friend,**

_I actually saw your ad at the start of the summer it just took me_

_I take a while to compile my thoughts_

_My response was delayed due to_

_Why is this word thing so hard?_

_Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah._

**You're lucky I never throw anything out.** _Haha. Ha_

August 18th

Dear Friend,

You're lucky I never throw anything out or I may never have come across your ad.

I'm glad you had a good summer. It sounds like your family members made sure it was an interesting one.

I've had a great summer too. It's been good to spend time with my parents. It gets a bit lonely sometimes being an only child but I've always got friends to keep me company. Definitely looking forward to heading back to Hogwarts even it if means having to start school work again. Not that I don't enjoy school work. I'm quite good at school work. In some areas. In others not so much. But the teachers love me. Well, most of them do. Okay, some of them do. You know I think it's more my friends that they don't like. Horrible influences, all of them. I think I need to stop waffling now.

I hope you continue to enjoy your holiday. And that your friends are good influences.

Sincerely yours,

Waffling.

* * *

August 19th

Dear Friend,

Of course… lucky. So you _didn't_ spend six weeks trying to think of a cucumber cool response?

Don't worry, I'm just messing with you.

They sure make it interesting alright. What's it like being an only child? When I was younger I sometimes wished I was an only child; my sister could be so annoying! It's funny; I always miss her so much when I'm at school but when I come home it's a completely different story. You know what they say: absence makes the heart grow fonder. Maybe if she found out she was adopted and went to live with her real family we'd become best friends. Very fond of each other from very, very far away.

You go to Hogwarts too? I was hoping I'd get a reply from a fellow Hogwarts student. I wonder if we know each other at school. Oh, what if we're friends? Maybe it'd be best not to know. Just in case we're mortal enemies. Haha. Besides, guessing will be half the fun!

Did you know that there is a famous wizard called Adalbert Waffling? He has a chocolate frog card, you might have seen it. It calls him the 'father of magical theory'. Sound anything like you?

-A Friend

* * *

August 21st

Dear friend,

I'm naturally this cool. You're obviously just jealous of how cucumber-y I can be.

Your sister sure does sound like a handful. I can definitely empathise with your feelings about absence. I have a friend I fight with on a daily basis about anything: school rules, homework, you name it, but the second we're not together I feel like maybe the fighting is worth it because at least we're together. Maybe I'm crazy. But then again I think all my friends are a bit crazy. It could be why we fit together so well. It's alright being an only child, mostly. I think it might have made me a bit spoiled though. Although a lot of the time I don't feel like an only child because my friends are like my brothers. Complete with bickering and annoying moments just like any real family.

You're right, I think it's better not knowing. This way we can build up our expectations and be disappointed when we finally meet. Haha. Well, you know what else they say? Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Maybe if we are mortal enemies we may discover we're not all that different. Or one of us will discover the other's ultimate weakness and one will triumph over the other in a fiery battle of the ages. Either is equally likely.

Father of magical theory, huh? Sounds like a perfect description of me. But don't think you've gotten away scot-free, my friend. Now it's your turn. What do you think of animals? Something cute and fluffy. Rabbit, maybe? Squirrel? Pigeon? Choose your poison.

Unequivocally yours,

- Waffling


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: We hope the formatting wasn't too confusing last chapter! Don't forget there is a link on our profile to a place you can find this story in all it's correctly formatted glory. There aren't any weird formatting issues with this chapter though, so hopefully it's easier to read.

Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: The disclaimer in chapter one is still true and will be true for the whole fic, so this will be the last time you see a disclaimer.

* * *

**Chapter Two**

August 22nd

Dear Friend,

You're right, I must just be jealous of your cucumber-y-ness.

It sounds like you have some great friends. I'm really close with all the girls in my dorm and during the year we're very much like a family. I don't see them as often as I'd like over the holidays though, which is a pity. I can't wait to get back to school to see them again. One of them has the most ridiculous crush on this boy in our year, it will be interesting to see if anything has come of that over the summer.

Haha. You're already planning my demise, are you? Trying to find my Achilles heel? Good luck with that, Waffling. I'm on to you now!

I love animals, especially cute and fluffy ones, but I choose none of those poisons, thank you very much. They're all terrible! Pigeon reminds me of Lady and the Tramp, though. Did you ever watch that? It was one of my favourite movies as a kid. I begged my parents for years to get me a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. It never happened; they got me a rabbit instead.

I better send this now; my parents are calling me. My Hogwarts letter came the other day so we're going to Diagon Alley to pick up my supplies.

-A (soon to be nicknamed) Friend.

* * *

August 23rd

Dear Friend,

My friends are pretty great. How about yours? You're probably sick of hearing how fantastic my comrades are. I'd love to hear a little insight about the company you keep.

Crush is certainly a word I haven't heard in a very long time. That probably gives you a little insight into the company _I _keep. Haha.

I've been planning your demise from the very beginning. This correspondence has all been an elaborate ruse to bring you down. In fact the idea to place the ad in the paper wasn't even yours. It was placed there by one of my many operatives using their highly advanced mind powers. Whoops. I've said too much. I probably should have left my evil villain speech until my plan actually worked.

Not so fast there. You're lucky you even have options. Back in my day, you were given a nickname and it was yours no matter how horrible or ridiculous or fuzzy-animal-like. You have your three options, now choose. I promise I'm not laughing evilly as I write this.

I have never seen Lady and the Tramp before. Seems like a strange title for a movie about pigeons. I haven't really seen many muggle movies. One of my best friends is obsessed with muggle movies. He watches them whenever he can. He showed me a movie about a wizard who makes magical candies for muggles. I think his name was Woola Winky or Wally Wonki or something like that. It was good fun.

You went to Diagon yesterday too? I was there all day. You wouldn't happen to have been the lovely young lady sitting with her family at Fortescue's, would you? If yes, we are definitely enemies. Also, if you think no one saw you drop ice cream on your shirt, you are very wrong.

Suspiciously yours,

- Waffling

* * *

August 24th

Dear Friend,

My friends are fantastic. We're all really talkative once we get going, so it can get pretty loud and insane when we're all together, but I like it like that. It's just not great when you're trying to sleep and the rest of the dorm is gossiping loudly about one of the girl's latest boyfriends or something. We're also all so different that I sometimes wonder how we could be friends at all, but somehow it just works. I guess you could say we complete each other. Haha. Don't get me wrong, we all have things in common, it's just that we have more not in common. It definitely keeps things interesting though. For example, one of my friends has a bit of an obsession with Chocolate Frog Cards. Imagine the Hogwarts Chocolate Frog Card Club, but worse. She refuses to join the club because she says it's 'lame' but she's not opposed to going through their bags to find a card she needs while they're not looking. She claims it's not stealing because she always leaves a card in its place, though she doesn't bother to check if they need that card or already have fifty of that one. It's a wonder she's not in Slytherin, this girl! (That's not to say I'm not in Slytherin. Though I'm not saying I am either. I just don't want you thinking you know which house I'm in. Wouldn't want to give you any help planning my horrible end. Haha.)

Back in your day? What are you, eighty?

It's not a movie about pigeons! It's a movie about dogs. Tramp – the street wise, scallywag with a heart of gold– nicknames Lady – the uptight, suburban princess who needs to loosen up a bit– 'Pigeon'. So, since Pigeon is Lady's nickname, I'm going to make an executive decision and nickname myself Lady. Technically I've picked one of your horrendous nicknames, since Pigeon and Lady are actually the same person/dog, so you can't complain. I promise I'm not laughing evilly as I write this.

The movie your friend showed you must have been Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. The man that makes candy is Willy Wonka. Your comment about him being a wizard got me thinking – I never thought of him as being a wizard when I was young (that was another of my favourite movies). I just accepted him as an ordinary man (muggle) who was very smart and creative; the Oompa Loopmas (imagine Flitwick if he were the colour Jane Hamer was last year after she tried to, unsuccessfully, give herself a darker tan when we were learning about self-transfiguration) were the ones with a bit of magic. But perhaps you're right. Maybe he _was_ a wizard. It would make a lot of sense, wouldn't it?

I did visit Fortescue's actually, but not with my parents. Once we finished buying all of my supplies they left and I met up with my friends, who I went and got ice cream with. I did see the girl you're talking about though. Poor thing! You know that old saying: an enemy of your enemy is your friend? Well, if she's your enemy, I'm afraid to say I think we might be friends. Or at least, not enemies. So your plan to bring me down might not work out for you after all.

Shocked that this letter ended up being so long,

-Lady.

* * *

August 25th

Dear friend,

You and your friends certainly sound like an interesting bunch. The sort you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley, or any alley mind you, especially if one has a large collection of chocolate frog cards in one's backpack. Not that I collect chocolate frog cards. Although, I do recall some of my most prized cards going missing a while back. Might be time to pull out the old magnifying glass and do some investigating.

I am in fact older than time itself. When I say 'the old magnifying glass' I am most definitely referring to the first magnifying glass ever invented. One of my finest achievements if I do say so myself. Although, I think the lever and the pulley were possibly my most successful.

My exact age is beside the point. No matter how you try to weasel out of it, you will always be Pigeon to me.

From what I remember of the movie he was definitely very wizard-y. I may or may not have seen what happens when a wizard experiments with new spells/potions, but if I had seen it, not that I'm admitting I have, it would look quite a bit like some of the things in the movie. Especially the blueberry thing.

This guessing game is beginning to get rather intriguing. I know we're not supposed to discover who the other is but I can't help but wonder. If your little Slytherin slip up was not just an attempt at trickery then all of Slytherin house is eliminated as suspects. If the girl at Fortescue's wasn't you and isn't one of your friends then that eliminates her and about four other people. Part of me doesn't want to know. The other part is really beginning to enjoy playing super sleuth. I guess it's up to the fates to decide who finds who first, if at all. If you believe in that kind of thing.

Yours in curiosity and as always,

- Waffling

* * *

August 26th

Dear Friend,

I won't lie. You're probably right. It wouldn't be safe to meet my frog fiend of a friend _anywhere_ (the Great Hall at lunch time included) with a backpack full of frog cards. Not if you value your life, anyway.

I'm not entirely sure whether to be in awe or perturbed speaking to a man so much older than myself. If you don't mind my asking, what do you make of Atlantis? Was it as beautiful as they say? Why ever did it disappear?

I guess I should be happy you didn't decide to call me Weasel? I probably shouldn't have said that. DON'T start calling me Weasel.

Are you the one that 'accidently' caused an explosion in the kitchens two years ago? That was hilarious. The whole school went into a frenzy. I remember I walked past a few Slytherins telling first years that there wasn't going to be any food for a week because the house-elves were going on strike. The first years looked petrified, poor things. One of my friends is really good at impressions though, and she did a brilliant imitation of McGonagall. The Slytherins thought she was coming around the corner and they scampered. It was such a beautiful sight!

Oh crap. I guess I've definitely blown my cover with that story, haven't I? No one in their right mind would suspect I'm in Slytherin now. You should be less careful about what you say so I can get some clues to who you might be. All I've got so far is that you're an only child and you have a friend you fight with a lot. That's about half of Hogwarts. Though I think I like not knowing. And you should stop trying to make a deduction, Mr Holmes (tell me you've heard of him – Oh my Merlin, he wasn't a wizard too, was he?). Half the fun of this is not knowing who the other is. Like you said, let the fates decide.

Beginning to question my entire childhood,

Lady.

* * *

August 31st

Waffling, are you still alive? I'm beginning to think my friend might have tracked you down and killed you for your chocolate frog card collection.

-Lady.


End file.
